Could It Be Any Harder
by IceFire
Summary: songfic based on Could It Be Any Harder by The Calling. Draco and Harry experience.......problems.....a few years after graduation. I'm awful at summaries, so please just R&R!!!!!!! contains suicide and very mild slash


Could It Be Any Harder  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
I don't own anything having to do with Harry Potter or the group The Calling. Anything in the little stars (I forget what they're called, is it asterisks?) is lyrics from the song "Could It Be Any Harder" by The Calling. So basically, almost nothing in this fic belongs to me. Please R&R, I'll appreciate anything, even flames!!!!!!!!!!! This is my 1st fic, so advice is good. Very good (^_^)  
  
*You left me with goodbye and open arms  
  
A cut so deep I don't deserve  
  
You were always invincible in my eyes  
  
the only thing against us now is time*  
  
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're leaving me?"  
  
"Look, it's not your fault. I love you, but this won't work. I don't want you dead because of me"  
  
"But............"  
  
The intense hurt and confusion in those stunning eyes was more than Draco could stand. He walked over to Harry, gave him one last sweet kiss, and turned to leave.  
  
"Goodbye Harry. I love you, and I don't deserve you. I'm not worth dying for."  
  
"Draco, wait......"  
  
He simply smiled sadly and walked out the door.  
  
*Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, and face what's true  
  
If I only had one more day*  
  
"That look................"  
  
Draco was going mad. He knew he couldn't stay with Harry, no matter how badly he wanted to. It had been too perfect to last. His father and the other Death Eaters would find some way to ruin it, and he didn't want to see Harry to die for him. But he couldn't get the though ot those eyes out of his head. The same ones that had been so full of happiness and a love of life, were now full of misery and confusion, and something that resembled a desire to simply stop living. He was reminded of when he had broken one of his mother's necklaces when he was a child. The emerald had shattered all over the floor. That was what Harry's eyes were like. Shattered emeralds.  
  
*I lie down and blind myself with laughter  
  
A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing  
  
And how I wish I could turn back the hours  
  
But I know I just don't have the power*  
  
Harry just stood there, staring at the door in disbelief.It had to be a joke. It just had to be. One of the reasons he had fallen in love with Draco was his twisted sense of humor. Draco would never leave him, ever. He wouldn't. Any minute now, he would walk back in through the door and take Harry in his arms, mending the world that had just fallen apart right down around his head, realizing what he had done. They could defeat anything that came their way, as long as they were together. If he didn't come back soon, Harry didn't know what he would do.  
  
*I'd jump at the chance  
  
We'd drink and we'd dance  
  
And I'd listen close to your every word  
  
As if it's your last, I know it's your last  
  
Cause today, oh, you're gone*  
  
Draco was dying to turn back. He couldn't. He knew that them staying together would get them both killed eventually. Harry couldn't die all because of him. No matter what, he was still a Malfoy, cursed with the tainted name of a Death Eater. And Harry was Harry, the Golden Boy. The one who everyone loved. Harry was too good for him, he wouldn't allow that perfect being to waste his life with him.  
  
*Could it be any harder to say goodbye, and without you  
  
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face whats true  
  
If I only had one more day*  
  
He couldn't believe it. Draco hadn't come back, hadn't come and fixed Harry's universe. He knew that Draco always thought he wasn't good enough for him. He disagreed whenever he had said these things, telling Draco that he loved him, that nothing would ever change that. He didn't think he could go on living without Draco being there for him.  
  
If anyone had told him that the boy he met at Madame Malkin's and hated (or thought he hated) for almost 6 years afterward would come to mean the world to him, he would have laughed and told them they were crazy. But as unlikely as it was, he had fallen for Draco. Fallen hard. Now that Draco was gone, he was no longer the Boy Who Lived, he was The Boy Who Wished He Hadn't. With that, he went into the bathroom and found the razor that Draco had always used and gave himself a slash on each damned wrist.  
  
*Like sand on my feet  
  
The smell of sweet perfume  
  
You stick to me forever  
  
And I wish you didn't go  
  
I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away  
  
To touch you again  
  
With life in your hands  
  
It couldn't be any harder...harder...harder* 


End file.
